Sunday April 25, 2009

Our book is almost done, letters of attestation pending. I did it. It feels like I climbed a large mountain and I'm standing at the top, all bent over and breathless, hands on my knees. Tachypneic (short of breath), breathless, and scared about how long I should be up here, and when I should start going back down to the lower resting area down below. But no. I have to stay here, because I made it this far. I have to revel in the taste of bodily success, take that pushy mind that I can now lay to rest. Sit and bask in the newness of my condition, using great caution at every turn in the road ahead.

My PICC line has been out for about 10 days, and I have been off the continuous infusion of sugar and salt water for about 40 days, I think. I'm too tired to write it down to maintain track of the days. All I know is that it is another day that the Lord has made, and I will be glad and rejoice in it.

I tried on clothes for traveling to Phoenix, AZ. I hope to meet with my cousin's family, attend parts of an anesthesiology pain medicine meeting, where my husband will be finishing his last stent as President of a national organization. I will see some people that I have not seen in years, and I will see people who I have seen before at these meetings. It will be a reunion of sorts, and I will revel in whatever I can do. I can sit for the car drive, but my neurogenic bladder has an 'all' or 'nothing' phenomenon, and I don't want to be caught losing it 'all'. So I will do what hundreds and thousands of 80 year olds do, and I will wear briefs in the car. Embarrassingly, I have had urine drip from my bladder while in an elevator, while in a plane, and in the car. Full bladder loss of control. Egads.

That is the thought for the day. I'm happy to be lying in bed making sure I do not get too tired. Yesterday, I slept through most of the day, because I had a migraine headache and my head felt like it was size of a huge balloon. Off to nap, I just have no more energy for today.