Monday, April 6, 2009
Today is the happiest day in my life, after my child births and wedding day. My left peripherally-inserted central catheter (PICC) line was pulled out by two nurses less than an hour ago. I am in the biggest shock of my life.
I can move my left arm and there is no pinching on my skin, no puckering of the Tagaderm, and a simple gauze dressing over a hole in my arm. I can sit up without pulling a pump and iv tubing from behind me.....I can put on a shirt without figuring out which way the iv bag and tubing are pointing. I can move to the right and to the left and not worry about whether or not my iv line is going to get stuck on the doorknob and make me fall flat on my face.
I can move! I am free! All the work, the upkeep, and the panic levels are now decreased significantly. I can live a normal life without an iv, even though I still suffer from orthostatic hypotension and the dysautonomia. And a list of other complaints that are now in the back of my mind. I can move...and I don't have to worry about PICC line infections, accidental PICC line removal, and....I can move.
My biceps and my calves feel like sponges, so my heart must need some conditioning. I have to figure out the things that are going to hurt me, the close calls to stay away from, and how to plug through life in a wholly new manner. I tell myself to forget about all of that for now, and revel in being free! Moving my arms up and down without feeling a twang of iv pulling my arm back. Everyone says I am a medical miracle. I am humbled and grateful, especially for all your prayers. If it had not been for all the prayers that were said on my behalf, I am certain that I would not have been touched by the feathery touch of a healing angel.
I want to plant new plants, but I get short of breath from performing even the smallest tasks. I break out into sweats that are independent of my estrogen/progesterone levels, and I keep drinking mineral water. The iv, the bag of D5NS, the CADD pump, the batteries, and keeping one cold bag out for thawing before it enters my heart area directly. All of these are no more. I am so blessed by God to receive this miracle at this time. Perhaps God is leaving me with unfinished work, for giving my Testimony, and for blessing the name of Jesus. God Bless You while I sleep. I am sure that when I wake up, I will not remember that I am in a hospital bed. It will take a couple minutes of realization, then my place of residence and my absent PICC line will suddenly strike the memories in my brain. I will be in a confused daze of realizations, and I give God all the glory.
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