I sign in today in grateful thanks to God that my PICC line is still out. A neighborhood prayer group apparently started praying for me some time ago. Now I of course have the compulsion to show them God's Ways, so that they can see that it is true. Before, I was sick. Now I am well. Not well enough to do certain things, but at this point, it does not matter. All that matters is your family and your beloved generations of Elderly who have toiled to make me what I am.

Maybe I did not like things growing up, but I feel like the great lion who just got the little splinter out of hiim. I can not remember any of the entries I have made before now, and I never go back and read them again. I have no idea what I have said before today, and my mind processes this information differently than it used to. Before the car accident.

The phone rings. I have a shoe emergency that truly is a real catastrophe. Poor lady can not walk after her surgery, and her favorite and only slippers are at a house nearby. Lulu is bringing me a donut for breakfast so we can meet Dr. Dashing for book editing today. I have to take my pills. No, I have to wait until I eat before I take the pills. So now, I call the neighbor and friend, pick up shoes, take them to lady, jet down to book editing, squeeze lunch in there, then head back home to help the guinea pig with her homework. Term of endearment; inside joke.

I feel like throwing up. When I sit, my blood leaves my head. I can feel it draining down my face, as if it were a warm bottle of wine dripping downwards. If I just lay down flat, everything is fine. It's just that little balance thing, when I get up. Balance. Think of what you life would be like without it. I stand up and automatically bend down at the hips a bit. Like the little old men and little old women. I just do it to get blood to my head. If I stand up, I am like a wine cork that has no wine touching this cork, because all y blood goes down to my legs. If I walk around in this bent-over shape, some blood goes to my head. If I stand up, I may faint because of the 'dry cork' phenomenon. It is as iif my venous alpha one receptors cannot work. My veins all pop out and there is no natural 'squeeze' that is supposed to occur, so that blood will still go to my head. I wear the same stockings as paraplegics. they are so tight that we struggle to put them on. But once on, they squeeze the blood up my legs. This way, the blood is redistributed upward. Toward my abdomen and ultimately, my brain. It must be my midbrain, the pons. All it takes is one capillary, with a line of red blood cells carrying both oxygen and hemoglobin. One capillary is all I need. Without it, I am on my back.

I wake up and it is my best time. I could blow-dry my daughter's hair and go iin the car to take her to school. I sat in the disabled parking spot and met Glow. She just glows. I am going to go to their prayer meeting this Friday, after school pick-up. Now, I take my medicines without throwing up. Goodbye for now. God is good. All that I'll ever be, I offer now to Thee.