This morning started with a jolt. I was under a 10:00 a.m. deadline to have my child and her sweet sleepover friend ready to leave the house then. What did I do first? Got these little critters up and awake by promising they would be served fresh Mickey Mouse pancakes hot off the griddle. Placing blueberries in the batter, my daughter looked at me with a face that said, "Yuck."
No sooner did they leave, when the dog escaped from the front yard and started following a horse trail. Innocently, my caregiver and I started walking along to get her. She thought we were in a fun game of 'chase' the dog. No, we just wanted to leash her up and take her home. We were bitterly awakened when the trail led us past several dogs that looked cuddly and innocent. Oh no. When they started barking, huge teeth glared at us as if the dogs had not eaten in a week. We got out of there as fast as we could, but I can only go so fast. Thanks to God, we made it home in one piece and by then, I was so exhausted and thirsty that I thought of drinking an ice cold beer. My heart was beating so fast that I could feel it in my chest.
But pain is gain, no? Yes, especially in this postoperative situation that requires pain to gain range of motion to the shoulder. My physical therapist was so encouraging and serious about my completing the therapy, to loosen the back quadrant of the shoulder capsule. Without fixing this problem, it is possible that I would never be able to do the crawl stroke again, avid swimmer that I have always been.
I didn't go through this risky shoulder to have an incomplete healing. I have, and I will continue to seek the help of my physical therapist(PT). I thought I could do a lot of this therapy on my own, but I was naive. The therapist has to try to get me out of this situation that I got myself into. Of course, I went to PT much later than I should have, considering the surgery was on January 7 and now it is nearing the end of March. But these things happen, so we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, jumping into PT late. I am so thankful for the therapist's patience with me. The worst thing I remember, the thing that threw me down to my knees to ask for God's mercy, was: the pain.
I took my nighttime pills and sat to make a journal entry. To the right, our daughter snores in her little mixed up head full of grown-up problems, like, "When am I going to die?" Downstairs, my husband watches the History Channel and I am happy to make a journal entry before I pass out from fatigue. 5 more pills to swallow, so off I go to complete this task. Goodnight.
A special note to Dr. Shadrad, who sent me a couple emails that I can not open. If I try to open my mailbox, the next thing I am told is that I can no read any of my emails. Perhaps I could trash alot of old email, but I can't even get into the mailbox to remove old emails. Geesh. A day wihout email, another day, and yet more...I will figure it out and solve it.
Day #5 off the iv infusion? I'm orthostatic upon standing, to a heart rate that exceeded 90 bpm. Too fast. I need to drink more water, and I plan on going to church to give thanks to God. I am realizing that i must be fully retrained to live in this body without banging it up (bruise checks).
So tonite I am thankful for my husband, and I do need my own recipe for life. Here's to a day of rest. A day of rest and not overdoing things. I'm going to have to learn from each day. Oh. And I must have been tired and/or had too much activity for the day...I will take it easier tomorrow and God will direct m to the right Path in my life. For now, I need more sleep.
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